As a person who takes their work seriously, it is undoubtedly painful to get rejected after all the time and effort spent. Typically, in silence, I dwell and question my capabilities and everything else that could set me up for that rejection. However, physically, I hid all these thoughts carefully with a neutral face. Hence, I drive myself to insobriety to forget about it. Even if it is a temporary solution.
Being a quiet self, I prefer meeting in smaller groups with people I am close to. Although I don’t really speak as much either, but I am comfortable. With all these sadness in mind, I thought I’d meet a couple of friends for a hangout. You could say things did not turn out as planned. Being the first to be there amongst those that was invited, Mr Socialise-er decided to leave me hanging by the bar awkwardly with a bunch of his fellow mates, whom I’ve not known personally. It took a few cigarettes for him to have a quick small chat with me and then back to socialising for him. It is exhausting to watch as the time seems to drag slowly. Well, at least I’ve got my drink…
This short poetry should sum it up.
Spinning thoughts of despair
Wondering if I’ll get there.
To where ain’t finely defined
As it depends on time.
Concrete floor and table tops
With some beer to clear my thoughts.
As it flows down my pipe,
The intoxication brings delight.
The light dims to blend with the night
Yet the stars that shine don’t seem so bright.
The air stood still with the smoke exhaled
Resembling a cloud that is filled.
Everyone departs with shakes of hands
And there’s not one there that is spared.
Words that exchanged means no care
It’s just a gesture out of good will and that’s that.